The Bodybuilding Trap (How to Grow Outside the Gym)

For years, I chased the idea of getting big.

I thought building an impressive physique meant bulking up to 200 pounds with a six-pack.

I was working out 5-6 days a week, eating tons of food, and yet, something always felt off.

After 12 years of lifting, I realized I didn’t fit into that mold. I was never going to be the “big guy”.

And truthfully, I didn’t want to be.

But I kept pushing, thinking that was how to attract attention as a young man in his 20s—believing the bigger I got, the more validation I’d receive.

Then it hit me—modern bodybuilding was making me a worse person in a lot of ways.

I was becoming a specialist, trapped in a narrow definition of what it means to be fit and successful, and I wasn’t growing beyond that.

I don’t want this to happen to you.

Modern Bodybuilding is Distorting Your Mind

We’re conditioned to believe there’s only one path to success, both in fitness and in life.

In bodybuilding, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the only way to achieve greatness is by getting huge.

You pack on muscle and obsess over every meal and workout.

And for many young men, this pressure is real.

But here’s the truth: most people aren’t walking around with physiques that stretch out their shirts. Most people aren’t benching 315 for reps or turning heads when they walk into the gym.

In reality, most of us:

• Have average physiques
• Sit in traffic commuting to jobs we don’t love
• Live paycheck to paycheck
• And feel like we’ll never measure up to the Instagram “influencers” who seem to have it all

It’s a losing game.

You’re chasing a physique that only a small percentage of people (many of them on PEDs) can achieve, and in the process, you’re neglecting other areas of your life.

We’re often told to specialize. Find one thing, master it, and that will make you successful.

But that’s not the case anymore.

Take a look around: specialists are hyper-focused on a single goal, spending years perfecting one skill. And even then, there’s no guarantee they’ll be in the top 10% of their field.

For example, if you’re a web developer, are you so insanely passionate about building apps that you can beat out 95% of other programmers? If you’re a bodybuilder, will you ever be as good as Chris Bumstead or Ronnie Coleman?

There’s always someone better, someone faster, someone more obsessed. And dedicating your life to one pursuit often means sacrificing everything else.

That’s the bodybuilding trap.

You’re spending years chasing a goal that makes you feel inadequate, stuck in a loop of never being “good enough.” All while neglecting other opportunities to grow.

Generalists Create the Life They Want

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to be the best at one thing to succeed. You can be a generalist.

In today’s world, being pretty good at a lot of things—and great at one—can create an amazing life. You don’t need to be in the top 10% of a niche; being in the top 30% is enough to stand out and make a solid living.

This shift in mindset applies to your fitness goals, too.

You don’t have to weigh 200 pounds with single-digit body fat to have a great physique. You can be lean, strong, and athletic by focusing on overall health and well-being.

I stopped obsessing over bodybuilding and started incorporating other activities—running, hiking, swimming. I trained 3 days a week, ran 1-2 days, and focused on keeping my body fat low.

And guess what? I felt better, looked better, and had more energy for the things that mattered to me outside the gym.

Building a physique that boosts your confidence doesn’t need as much effort as you’d think.

It’s about being at a low body fat, being active, and having solid proportions.

Your dream body is closer than you realize.

Building an Amazing Life Outside the Gym

Fitness is only one part of the bigger picture. To grow, you need to expand your focus and explore other areas of your life.

Here’s how you can start:

• Take care of your mind first: Create a morning meditation habit (10-15 minutes) to clear your head and set the tone for the day.

• Train smarter, not harder: Lift heavy 3 days a week and incorporate activities like running, swimming, or martial arts on other days. This will keep you lean and fit without draining your energy.

• Stop obsessing over food: Find a few healthy meals you enjoy and stick to them. Don’t hover over a kitchen scale or let food control your life.

• Move more: Increase your daily steps to 10-15k. Start small if needed, and use this time to listen to podcasts or audiobooks.

• Expand your horizons: Fitness isn’t everything. Develop hobbies, build skills, and grow relationships. Being well-rounded is far more fulfilling than being a “gym bro.”

By taking a generalist approach to fitness, you’ll create a domino effect in every area of your life.

You’ll have more energy for work, more time for family, and a greater sense of fulfillment overall.

In Conclusion

The key to building a balanced, fulfilling life is to stop putting all your eggs in one basket.

Bodybuilding breeds discontentment because it traps you in a narrow goal. But by becoming a generalist, you can create the life you want—one where fitness, work, and personal growth all coexist.

Stop chasing the impossible standards of the bodybuilding world. Start embracing a more flexible, well-rounded approach to life.

Because the truth is, you don’t need to be the biggest guy in the gym to feel confident, strong, and successful.

You need to find balance.

I hope this letter was helpful. Talk soon.

-Brandon